Ok, Lord... that's enough, lay off, will ya?

We all probably have said to ourselves at times "Lord, I've got enough on my plate. Can't you lay off the temperature a bit?".  It's like saying we are carrying too heavy of a cross. The simple fact is that no cross is as big as the one Jesus carried.

Lent calls us to the desert, if we truly let the Lord to lead us where he wants us to go. I've been struggling with this a lot lately. In my journey over the past several years, God keeps calling me to a higher level and with each step of this spiritual ladder, life certainly is not easy. I've seemingly found myself waking up to realize how involved I have become in various ministries, events, and catechism classes at our local parish. While I appreciate it, I catch myself complaining about it at the same time.  The catechism students were brutal today, I don't have enough time for me, what good am I doing?, etc... What I do find is that God has a meaning for this and teaches profound lessons that we may not understand at that moment. Sometimes we realize it quickly, other times it takes awhile.

However, as God reveals truth to us, we are called to share that with others. Today's Mass readings for the 4th Sunday of Lent lay out truth with no apology. I found the second reading (Eph 5:8-14) the most powerful. I actually found it affecting me as I read it aloud into the microphone while lectoring today. After Mass, a good friend said I looked a bit "stiff" while reading today. Undoubtedly so.

"Brothers and sisters:
You were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light,
for light produces every kind of goodness
and righteousness and truth.
Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;
rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention
the things done by them in secret;
but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
for everything that becomes visible is light.
Therefore, it says:
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will give you light."

This reading shows that the Lord will lead us from darkness and awaken ourselves. But, this process is not easy, nor does it happen overnight. We have to always be reminded to live as Christ wills us to.

Tonight, a friend randomly texted me the following, which really struck me. In fact, I needed that message at the exact moment in time. God uses others to deliver messages in many respects. Tonight's was delivered by a simple buzz from my phone. 

"we are pressed on every side, yet not straitened; perplexed, yet not unto despair; pursued, yet not forsaken; smitten down, yet not destroyed;" 1 Cor 4:8-9

So, Instead of finding myself complaining about troubles in life, I find that I need to turn it to thanks; Yes, thanks to the Lord for all that he has given me, and in his infinite wisdom he knows why we need to undergo trials and suffering to reveal his message.

Deo Gratias!

"Come, come. Can you lector?"

"Come, come. Can you Lector?". These were the words coming from one of the religious sisters, as she motioned me her way. What could I do? God had called, even if I didn't think I was ready...

That's how the 5:00 Mass began for me that day. Except the Mass had not started and it was 5:02pm. The next thing I know, I was genuflecting as I exited the church and on my way into the sacristy.

It was an interesting day as I ended up lectoring twice this day, having never lectored before in my life. The first time was in the morning for about 60 young boys at a retreat. The second was later that evening at the Pentecost vigil in 2010. Talk about baptism by fire!

I had always wanted to lector at some point in my journey of faith. I have had significant experience talking in front of crowds, from small groups of 50-100 at local club/organization meetings to an outdoor event with 1000+ people. Sitting in the pews, I had thought that there would be a time where I could lector as God calls us to use our talents to serve his Kingdom. I prayed about it, and when I wasn't expecting it (like many other occurrences), the Lord called.
 
Indeed, the Lord prepares us and calls us for his will. He prepared me for this in the morning, when I was asked to do the readings for confirmation students at a morning retreat. In fact, I had a distinct feeling that I would lector again that evening. This feeling is one that I've had several times since my return to the faith. While a private revelation, I firmly believe these events have done nothing but strengthen my faith.

On Saturday mornings, I would normally be at another parish teaching catechism, but since the parishes are run by the same religious order, I was asked to help at the retreat. This day, back at the other parish, our students were taking their midterm, and the retreat needed assistance.  After the retreat ended, I called my friend who I teach with, asking how the students did on the midterm. During the discussion I mentioned that I had lectored and then said to him, "Brian, I have a feeling that I will be lectoring again really soon.  I don't know what it is, but it is that same feeling that I've had before with other things in the faith".

That same Saturday evening, something prompted me to go back to the 5:00 vigil Mass. I sat in the pews, praying in front of the blessed sacrament. Something just felt odd. At that point, I decided to look over the readings, realizing that the Vigil ones were different than the Sunday readings for Pentecost. I also noticed that it was quiet at the Ambo, as no lector had come to prepare the readings. Instead, I noticed one of the sisters who sets up the sacristy running around, seemingly looking for someone. As the time ticked off, I essentially heard a thought to myself "Michael, you will lector tonight". Shrugging it off, I told myself "Nah, not possible". I turned my head and glanced around the church, looking toward the entrance. Something definitely felt weird. I noticed a few of the religious sisters sitting in their typical position, a few pews behind me.

I kept kneeling and praying.

It was now 5:00 and something was amiss. No lector to introduce the procession. 5:02 rolls around and one of the sisters comes running up the isle, looks at me, looks back to the other sisters, goes back to them, comes back up to me, turns and says "Come, come. Can you Lector?"

Wow.

What could I say? I knew God had called and he had prepared me that morning to lector. I was whisked back into the Sacristy (I had never been there before), when the sister realized the procession had already gone to the entrance of the church. No training or instructions for me tonight from the priest! Luckily, the cantor introduced the first song, and asked everyone to rise. I felt like I was on stage at a major event, but hadn't had proper time to read the script.

It then came time to do the readings. I of course, was literally shaking the entire time and felt like 1000 people's eyes were on me. As I got up to do the first reading, all I could hear were pages turning in the Missalettes in the pews. One feels like all eyes are on them, and since you are elevated compared to the congregation, you can hear all the noise, even a pin drop.

Luckily, I survived the evening and life has continued on... It was just another page in my personal faith journey.

The Lord does answer our prayers. I prayed about lectoring, as I saw my talents able to help in this ministry. I soon inquired about becoming a lector at this parish (which is quite large, and has seven Masses on Sundays!). A few months later,  when I was not expecting it, the head lector contacted me and the next thing I knew, I was officially being trained to be a lector.  In fact, the greatest honor thus far in lectoring is being asked to lector the Midnight Mass at this church on Dec 24, 2010. This date was very special to me. It was the three year anniversary of my coming home to the Catholic Church. What an honor! Thanks be to God for all he has done in my life!

If you feel that you have a talent that can be used at your church, do not be afraid.  Offer to help. God uses all of us in different ways to build up his Kingdom.