Pride.... What Pride?

God seems to reveal things in seemingly odd, yet simple ways. I guess it's human nature that we're often stubborn, convincing ourselves that we're just fine - "Nah, no problem here. Got that subject covered". Yet, this is part of the daily spiritual battle, in that the enemy tricks us into thinking we're ok. However, the Lord always finds a way to show us otherwise. He humbled me with a basketball. Yes, a basketball.

Recently, I was off shooting hoops one afternoon after committing a deadly sin (gluttony) at a company meal when God threw a bit of humor in with a dose of reality.  While I was by myself on the court, I threw a few beautiful shots - NOTHING BUT AIR. Yep. Missed the hoop by a mile. I thought to myself "Hope no one saw that", and then turned around to see if anyone was watching. That was when the Lord immersed me in my own sensual pride and gave me a dose of humility. I stood there staring at the ground, shaking my head in disbelief, while the sound of the ball bouncing off the tarmac was pounding into my head with each diminishing bounce. Thud, thud, thud...

The fact is that I was fighting pride... <gulp>. Yes, Pride.

It felt like that scene from "A Christmas Story" where everyone was staring at and laughing at Ralphie.

This realization comes to show that there are many forms of the seven deadly sins. I typically run through my examination of conscience time justifying why the stereotypical deadly sins don't apply to me.  Yet the fact is that forms of these sins are there, and we hide it from ourselves. If we mask it, then a serious fall is likely ahead.

The funny thing is that after I stopped worrying about what others may be thinking, or how the world would end if everyone knew that I shot a few air balls, I became more confident. As I started shooting again, each toss wasn't with some hesitation or worry. I made more baskets with a new found confidence. This has since translated into all other areas of my life, both spiritual, work related and beyond.

I thank the Lord for this odd dose of humility and hope that he continues to show me where I need work each day. I just pray that I don't get caught shooting another air ball while someone is watching =).

Ok, Lord... that's enough, lay off, will ya?

We all probably have said to ourselves at times "Lord, I've got enough on my plate. Can't you lay off the temperature a bit?".  It's like saying we are carrying too heavy of a cross. The simple fact is that no cross is as big as the one Jesus carried.

Lent calls us to the desert, if we truly let the Lord to lead us where he wants us to go. I've been struggling with this a lot lately. In my journey over the past several years, God keeps calling me to a higher level and with each step of this spiritual ladder, life certainly is not easy. I've seemingly found myself waking up to realize how involved I have become in various ministries, events, and catechism classes at our local parish. While I appreciate it, I catch myself complaining about it at the same time.  The catechism students were brutal today, I don't have enough time for me, what good am I doing?, etc... What I do find is that God has a meaning for this and teaches profound lessons that we may not understand at that moment. Sometimes we realize it quickly, other times it takes awhile.

However, as God reveals truth to us, we are called to share that with others. Today's Mass readings for the 4th Sunday of Lent lay out truth with no apology. I found the second reading (Eph 5:8-14) the most powerful. I actually found it affecting me as I read it aloud into the microphone while lectoring today. After Mass, a good friend said I looked a bit "stiff" while reading today. Undoubtedly so.

"Brothers and sisters:
You were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord.
Live as children of light,
for light produces every kind of goodness
and righteousness and truth.
Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;
rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention
the things done by them in secret;
but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,
for everything that becomes visible is light.
Therefore, it says:
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will give you light."

This reading shows that the Lord will lead us from darkness and awaken ourselves. But, this process is not easy, nor does it happen overnight. We have to always be reminded to live as Christ wills us to.

Tonight, a friend randomly texted me the following, which really struck me. In fact, I needed that message at the exact moment in time. God uses others to deliver messages in many respects. Tonight's was delivered by a simple buzz from my phone. 

"we are pressed on every side, yet not straitened; perplexed, yet not unto despair; pursued, yet not forsaken; smitten down, yet not destroyed;" 1 Cor 4:8-9

So, Instead of finding myself complaining about troubles in life, I find that I need to turn it to thanks; Yes, thanks to the Lord for all that he has given me, and in his infinite wisdom he knows why we need to undergo trials and suffering to reveal his message.

Deo Gratias!

Taking out the trash

 
While I certainly take out the physical trash at home each week, my goal is to take out the spiritual trash at least once a week (or as often as necessary) through the sacrament of confession. I feel so blessed to have a local parish that offers confession daily before each Mass (there are 27+ Masses a week!). Thus, there is never an excuse not to take advantage of the sacrament.

Since my return to the church in 2007, I find myself reflecting where I  am currently in my spiritual life as compared to the previous year. With this, I have also gained a deeper appreciation for Lent. As we are called to repent in this time period, I continue to look at areas that I need to work on. This means frequenting the confessional with a deeper sense of renewal in my life.  Each rung of the spiritual ladder that I climb works away at those vices and sins. As I continue on my path of sanctification, God seemingly calls me to a higher standard in so many respects. This means understanding sin better and making more sincere and well thought out confessions.

I often find myself scribbling notes for confession on a piece of paper before going into the confessional, or I tend to forget things. Today, I used a bookmark (a receipt) in a Lenten book that I am reading for those notes. When I got back to my vehicle after confession, I tore up the receipt. The sound of tearing paper seemed to resonate loudly. With the pieces then set on top of the book, the imagery of what I just did struck me in a powerful way that I didn't expect. At that moment, I realized how my sins were forgiven in God's eyes. Just like the destroying of the receipt, God forgot my sins at the instant of confession, cleansing my soul. Often times, I tend dwell on the past and the sins that I have committed, feeling like they drag me down. In the tearing of the paper, today was a great reminder that those sins are forgiven and forgotten in God's eyes. Deo Gratias!